So many doors

I am quickly finding that making a leap out into the world comes with many doors to open. Some doors you hope to find, others you didn’t know existed, others show up just when you need and others when you aren’t quite ready. I feel like I have been opening door after door after door and not finding the space or time to apply or process each experience.

 I feel a bit like Alice in Wonderland. I go through one doorway and grow, gaining a bit of confidence, a skill or a new perspective. Or, I walk through doorways only to shrink with fear or anxiety wanting nothing more than to turn around and go out the way I came in. But it is always locked. I have to work my way to the next door while balancing on a tightrope woven from opportunity, limitations, intuition, doubt, inspiration, hopes, apprehension, passion, need, want, worry, desire,  exhaustion, focus (take a deep breath Catherine!) and fortunately also, love and support.

Yesterday, at the end of a facilitator/coaching training session (a door I am not sure I am ready for, but one I am glad I opened… with a loving and gentle push), we were asked to come up with a question for ourselves. One of the things that came up in helping to guide someone is reminding them to find balance of doing and being. This was one of those moments when the words hit my gut like a boulder. They need to sit there for awhile. I really couldn’t focus on anything else after that. So my question to myself was “How do I create the balance of being and doing so that I can reach my potential allowing me to be an effective and positive part of my community (and family), while at the same time honoring my true nature?”


The door slammed shut and locked. And, I am pretty sure had a heavy duty deadbolt, too.
 No turning back. Back on the tightrope I go.

Fortunately, this door is always open with my heart’s center waiting on the other side.