I need some AIR….

Tonight I began the Evolve class through AIR. It is a six month long class that helps you define a project through the design thinking process. We each had to give a minute and a half pitch of our project. More on what that is later…..I am going to need your help with my interactive homework. YIKES!

I realize that most of us don’t like speaking in front of groups of people, but my fear of it absolutely takes over. I knew this minute and a half would feel like an eternity. I practiced in my head what I was going to say over and over again. And Ryan even caught me mumbling to myself a few times wondering who in the world I was addressing. His big brown eyes had a look of pure concern expressing my thoughts exactly.  But, I felt I had it and was proud of myself for being so prepared.

HA! Joke is on me.

When I got to class, it was like my mind was a dry erase board that had just been wiped clean. It was gone. And all I could think of was the rainbow screen that use to come on the TV at midnight once programming was over. There is a painting of that at a local restaurant that drives me insane. I can actually hear that endless monotone note that I am sure was designed to wake your ass up so you could wipe the drool from your face and force yourself to bed.

Focus Catherine.

I listened to others as they gave their project ideas. Great things! Inspiring ideas! What wonderful people!
Wait. What is my name? 
Everything including my name felt like a blur. I could feel my body firing nervous adrenaline and I had the shakes. How do people do this? How are they so comfortable? poised? articulate?
Oh no!!!…… only two people before me. And they are both REAL artists  What am I doing here? Good thing I am closest to the door. I can make a run for it. 
Uh-oh. I can’t feel my feet.

Wow! Her collaborative installation project sounds fascinating!

Damn, it is my turn. My face feels like it is inches from a roaring fire. My voice sounds like one of the Charlie Brown adults except not that confident….. shaking. Whaa whaa wha whaa whaaaaa…. and I am hoping that the next sentence that comes out of my mouth relates to whatever it is that I just said. And, I hope that I can find some oxygen soon. The more nervous.. the faster I speak.. I mean ramble. AH!!.. I need AIR.. pun intended. The shakes take over and I just have to apologize that I am so nervous, as if they couldn’t see?!?! But I am able to inhale and continue.  What a mess. Whaa whaa wha whaa whaaaa……. done.
I now think my project should be public speaking….. or not. 
Now onto the work of mission statements and vision statements….oh good…. we get to share those too. I think I am just going to be uncomfortable for 6 months. But, it is worth it. I know I am going to learn a ton and move forward with a plan, direction and guidance. There is definite benefit in that. Plus, I figure being in a room with such smart, creative and interesting people, I can’t go wrong.