Lake effects

About a year ago, my world turned upside down and inside out when my husband got a new job in a new town. We were living in our dream home, I had finally figured out the school/sport/art/music/friend balance for the boys (at least for a few years to come) and was beginning to get a good flow on the canvas and making time to paint. But we needed to go. Being self-employed had taken its toll in so many ways. The choice to go or stay wasn’t even really a question at that point.We needed this rope that had been thrown our way. But,it’s been a long year. I don’t handle change well and I don’t have any coping skills what-so-ever for goodbyes… seriously none. I knew home sickness would follow me for awhile and I am doing better than I thought… most of my friends would disagree, but I really am trying. I not only went to an arts meet and greet….. solo, but even applied for some art opportunities here. I got rejected.. ouch! But, at least I tried and it got me back to the canvas again. I began trying to paint the lake that is a few blocks from our home that I have fallen in love with. Seeing water every day really feeds my soul. I am fascinated how the colors of the water shift dramatically with the light and wind and as the landscape of trees and foothills that make up its backdrop, change through the seasons. I needed to start to feel familiar with the new canvas I now live in. I began painting the lake over and over. The first were “pretty” but stiff and boring. I was inspired by the beautiful fall leaves reflecting on its surface, but not able to transfer that life and depth I was craving. Frustrated, I put the paints down for awhile. Why couldn’t I find that flow I had before? The one where you loose yourself, feel high on the moment and time is completely lost. As I watched as the leaves disappear and the foothills become brown, the goodbyes I had put off and tried to ignore smacked me like the deep freeze that would soon hit the lake and take my breath away. The lake, though now frozen solid and surrounded by a white winter wonderland, brought me back to calm. It was stunning and then as if on cue, a beautiful Bald Eagle began to glide overhead almost asking me to join. “Look and see, Cat. Life is here.” I sat on the side of the lake in the bitter cold for almost an hour watching this magnificent creature. The balance of power and grace… inspiring. I stayed in my hibernation for awhile for many different reasons, but now feeling the hope of spring perhaps I will find that flow once more. I have begun again painting the lake I feel so grateful for. I have a feeling it will be a subject I return to over and over again as a way to check in with myself and find my footing. This latest canvas of the lake is beginning to feel more like myself and with a connection to place I so crave. There is the hope that before to many more seasons pass, perhaps it will even feel like home.

Long’s Pond 2011 2′ x 4′ Oil on Canvas – CDG