For the past few weeks, the universe has been so sweetly and gently giving me a good kick in the pants. Yet, my stubborn ways, my fears, and yes, guilt seem to not want to budge. Not even an inch. Amazing how strong those parts of myself are and I am the only one letting them hold me down. Fortunately, for me, I have my better half, Chris. He is so good at holding up a “mirror” to let me know that I am really the only one standing in my own way. I can make all the excuses I want, but until I stop that, nothing is going to change. It is time to shut up and walk the walk. So, here goes. By sharing this little corner of the world of mine, it feels like I am about to jump out of a perfectly good airplane without a parachute. But the fact of the matter is, I need to paint. I need to mix color. I need to let all this energy, these range of emotions and dreams swirling in my head out and let them dance on a canvas, board, piece of furniture; whatever I can get my hands on. I spent this morning in my “art room” (as it is called in this house), lost in color and texture and dreams of other places.
When I get in that sacred place, where time is gone and peace washes over me, a wholeness fills my core. And, soon after, I am frustrated with myself for letting so much time lapse. I finally admit that I need to be held accountable. I need some sort of deadline or rather goal perhaps is a better word. So here I am, opening up to you, to ask you to help hold me accountable. To keep painting, to keep moving forward. I have lots of ideas for what the future could hold, but at this point I just need to get the ball rolling and keep an open heart and mind and start walking the talk and see where the path goes.